You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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