The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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