I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
