....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
