it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
