therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
