Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
