Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
well most of my day revolves around power hour
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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