i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize