They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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