thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
