it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
