we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
