Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
