Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
