the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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