Just fell off a train. Bad.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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