I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
