You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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