YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
