If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
