We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
