Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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