btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
