i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
