Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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