I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
