Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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