Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
