when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
