Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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