He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My penis needs a shock collar
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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