so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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