He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
