dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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