Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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