sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
