so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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