You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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