I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
