I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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