Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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