He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
