sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
