even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
