i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
