I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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