you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We need to rekindle our bromance
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
