Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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