I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
