My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
